Bacon Pecan Brussel Sprouts

I'm trying to multitask right now. I have a toothbrush in my mouth (there may or may not be toothpaste goop running down my chin) while typing. I'm trying not to cry because the toothpaste is burning the open wound in my mouth from trying to consume sugar while it was still hot. Smart. That sh*t is sticky. You can't exactly get it off when it clings to your skin. Sucker fish sugar. And I'm trying to not type with my left index finger because I was once again forgot how hot sugar is. The tip of my finger is white...not a good sign. Have you tried to not type with your index finger? Try it. Come on. It sucks ass. And I'm doing all of this while baking some shananigans in the oven and trying to finish my laundry that I've put off for about 2 weeks. Yes, 2 weeks. You know what that means? The washer is about to explode. Literally. I just went in my laundry room and the washer was on the complete opposite side from the's not suppose to be like that.

So I've come to some conclusions. I need to better plan ahead. I need to not consume and/or cook with sugar anymore. And I need to shower more often. That's a side note, but is the damn truth. If I'm going to attract a mate (ew, I just said mate) I need to be smelling extra fresh and lookin like a dime piece. Holy sh*t, can you believe I just said that? That just happened. You know what is definitely going to attract a mate? The candied chocolate nuts I just made. If a guy doesn't like those, he is stupid. And if he doesn't like sweets, don't worry, I cook up a mean slice of bacon. Professional style.

So what's up with the short post? I just had toothpaste slobber fall off my chin and run down my boob. It's reaching towards the belly button at this point. Damn, I'm attractive. I guess it's time to shower. Effin a.

What you need:
  • 1/2 lb brussel sprouts
  • 6 oz bacon, diced up
  • 1/2 cup pecans
  • salt and pepper, to taste

What you do:
  1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees.
  2. Cut off the end of the brussel sprouts then cut each one in half.
  3. Throw your diced bacon in a large skillet under medium heat and cook until it begins to brown.
  4. Then add your pecans to roast with the bacon in the bacon fat.
  5. Once bacon is fully cooked, remove bacon and pecans with a slotted spoon and put in a bowl.
  6. Now add brussel sprouts directly to your bacon fat pan, add some salt and pepper, and cover to let cook for a bit. About 6 minutes of so.
  7. Once the brussel sprouts are browned a bit on the outside, either add that pan directly to the oven or transfer the sprouts to a baking dish then put in the oven for roasting.
  8. Leave in the oven for about 20-25 minutes, adding the bacon and pecans back to the brussel sprouts after about 15 minutes to finish cooking all together.
  9. Let cool a bit, then eat.
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