Chai Spiced Fruit Pork Chops

I'm sad. Sad to my core. You know why? Because on Thursday Nov. 24th, I thanked my car, via blog post, for still kickin' it even though she's an old hag. Well, I'm guessing she wanted to mock me because....she died last. Straight up died. I'm hoping that it's just a battery issue and a new one will suffice. Her and I have been through a lot together. Lots of dates, make out sessions (I've had her since high school, use your imagination), and law breaking nights. If this is the end, I may cry. Well really, I'll cry because I'm poor and can't afford a new car. So fingers crossed life works out.

Anyways, I'm sure you really cared about that. But if anyone wants to go on a lunch date this afternoon and pick me up, I'M TOTALLY FREE, since I can't get anywhere. Cool. I like thai food. Especially green curry. Sh*t that stuff is good.

Ok, but now for something that is interesting. Like where I store my phone. I mentioned how I use my purse as a wod bag so I'm sure you were wondering...where does Juli keep her phone?? Am I right, or am I right? You know where I keep that son of a b? In my sports bra. I don't wear a regular bra ever so I don't ever run into any issues. Sometimes my boobs glow. It's just seriously the best storage system around. Boobs don't exactly have a ton of purpose, especially since I have no plans to give birth to a child...let alone feed one. Sometimes I'll even put on Pandora and take a stroll, boobs just blastin' jams. One time, a man in Whole Foods creepily mentioned to me with his thick french accent, that keeping my phone close to my chest will hurt my heart. Why the hell is he looking at my boobs? Pervert.

What you need:
  • 4 pork chops
  • 1 cup raisins
  • 1 cup dried figs, chopped
  • 1 cup pistachios, shelled (obv)
  • 2 tablespoons honey
  • 2 chai tea bags
  • 3/4 cup water
  • 1 tablespoon salt
  • 1 tablespoon cinnamon
  • 1 teaspoon garlic powder
What you do:
First let's get your chai fruit compote ready:
  1. In a small saucepan, add your water, 1 chai tea bag (spices still in bag), and honey under medium heat. Let that start to caramelize.
  2. Once the mixture is beginning to thicken just a bit, add your dried fruit.
  3. When the mixture has thickened, add 1/2 chai tea bag (the spices from the bag) to the fruit compote as well as the pistachios. Mix well, remove from heat.
Now make those pork chops:
  1. Season pork chops with salt, cinnamon, garlic powder, and the leftover 1/2 chai tea bag spices on both sides of the chops.
  2. Add a bit of fat (bacon, coconut oil, olive oil) to a large skill over medium-high heat. Cook pork chops (time will range depending on thickness) on both side for about 4-5 minutes per side.
  3. Top cooked pork chops with chai fruit compote. It should still be warm. I don't know if you know this, but sugar gets REALLY hot. My mouth is just now healing.
  4. Consume.
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