Paleo Thanksgiving Sweet Potato Gratin

I'm in a list making mood. I love lists. I have the ColorNote app on my droid so I can make lists ANYWHERE, ANYTIME. I make grocery lists, lists of wods I want to do, lists of random ideas that pop into my head (sh*t, you should see that list) and the good ole to do list. Yes, you should be reading that last sentence as fast as you can. That's how I said it. I even tend to make lists of things I like. Why wouldn't I? Here's what it consists of. Yes, it's mostly food. Yes, most of my thrills are through food. Yes, that's why I'm single...and am eating chunks of chocolate...from a bag, while I type. The keyboard may or may not be sticky. Anyways.

Let's talk about things I like!!!! I know that's EXACTLY what you wanted to read about at work today.
  • Coconut milk egg nog--This stuff is kind of like crack. If crack made your ass bigger and made your nights seem like sunshine.
  • Coconut butter packets--These packets are full of saturated fat. Saturated fat = happy Juli. Happy Juli = happy coach. Happy coach = more enjoyable wods for athletes. More enjoyable wods for athletes = healthy people. Healthy people = better world. Better world = more coconut butter packets. 
  • Enjoy life chocolate chunks--I may sometimes buy a bag of these JUST so I can eat them directly from the bag. Sometimes I buy them to actually bake with, but let's be realistic, I eat half the bag before they even make it into baking mix. I really like chocolate. 
  • Dark chocolate almonds AND walnuts from whole foods--Get these in the bulk isle, aka the sample isle. You know you all do it. Walk to the bulk isle, sample something to "see if you like it" then conveniently not buy anything after you've tried every single thing covered in chocolate. If you don't do this and give the people that do dirty looks, your life sucks. And lacks luster. Do it once. Live a little people.
  • Americanos with heavy cream--I don't even know what I'm writing this. You already know it since it's really all I talk about. At a speed that is not socially acceptable. If you haven't met me in person, you're lucky. I talk REALLY fast.
  • Broccoli--obviously. No I don't poop green. Just FYI.
  • Reading BeastModalDomains and Forging Elite Sarcasm. If you are sensitive or easily offended, don't click the links. These websites aren't for people who lack a sense of humor. If you want to pee a little or maybe even blow a lil snot out of your nose as you snort, read these blogs. If you have a stick up your bum, it ain't gonna work out.
  • All social media. Well, I don't know if I love it. But I do have a Twitter account now!! Follow me, whatever the hell that means. My handle (not to be confused with my two love handles) is @PaleOhMyGoodnes (1 s people!). Let's follow each other everywhere. And pinterest. Oh dear lord, I love that site. 
  • 'People you may know' on facebook. I really like looking through all those people. But I don't know Camille Leblanc or Pat Barber or Rich Froning. Just because I crossfit doesn't mean I'm going to know those people OR friend them just because I have heard their name. But I'm guessing most people feel as though they are best friends with her since Camille and I have over 60 friends in common...and she's from Canada. Just sayin...sayin you're kind of creepy for adding her so you can just creep on her pictures. Creeper.
Ok, that's all I got. Well, and men. But there are none of those available.  Lamesies.

So let's talk about the food instead. I thought this was pretty fantastic. Laura agreed. But Jason and Jake both gave it a 7. I feel neutral about their opinions, but I had to share that info with you all. Can't lie now can we? The tip they did give me that I do agree with is that they wished the bacon was chopped up and put INTO the gratin instead of on top. I'm pickin up what they're throwin down! Just remember guys, I have a much more refined palate than theirs. Just make this.

What you need:
  • 2 sweet potatoes, sliced thin
  • 1 yellow onion, sliced thin
  • 1/4 cup almond meal
  • 1 can coconut milk
  • 4 tablespoons coconut butter (I made my own)
  • 4 tablespoons almond butter
  • 2 tablespoons agave
  • 1 teaspoon garlic powder
  • 1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
  • salt and pepper, to taste
  • enough bacon to cover the top OR cook and put inside
What you do:
  1. Preheat your oven to 375 degrees.
  2. Grease a 9x13 baking dish with whatever kind of fat you'd like. I greased mine with bacon fat, but that's because I'm incredibly intelligent. You can do what you want.
  3. Now you need to pull out your handy dandy mandoline. If you don't have one, you are going to have to thinly slice 2 sweet potatoes, so you can come read the rest of these directions in an hour. BUT, if you have a mandoline, start thinly slicing your sweet potatoes (not to be confused with your fingertips).
  4. Use the mandoline as well to thinly slice your onions.
  5. Now you're going to start the layering process. Super fun I tell you. Actually, I kind of thought it was fun. Start layering the sweet potatoes in lines so you can't see the bottom on the dish. Then layer with a little onion and a little almond meal. No need to pile it on, you'll have many layers to go. We're not building a cake for gosh sakes.
  6. Keep on layering until all your sweet potatoes are gone. 
  7. Now it's time to make our saucey sauce. Pull out a saucepan and put over medium heat.
  8. Add your coconut milk, coconut butter, almond butter, agave (or honey), and spices to the saucepan and stir until the coconut butter and almond butter have cooked. Don't boil. We don't need caramel.
  9. Once everything is mixed together, pour the mixture over the sweet potato layers. Then top off everything with a little bit more almond meal.
  10. Cover the rest of the dish with strips of bacon (unless you chopped and cooked it to add into your gratin).
  11. Cover your baking dish with aluminum foil and put in the oven for around 30 minutes.
  12. Once the 30 minutes are up, pull out the dish, remove the aluminum foil, and put dish under the broiler for about 3-5 minutes, or until bacon is nice and cripsy (or however you like yours).
  13. Let cool for 10 minutes or so then dig in. For real, dig the hell in to this.
holy balls, that's a lot of sweet potatoes.
if that doesn't look like comfort food, i don't know what does
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