Apple Onion Cinnamon Pork Chops over Crockpot Butternut Squash

My toes hurt really bad. That's because minimus shoes should not be warn in the dead of winter, in 4 inches of snow. There are literally 2 feet long icicles hanging outside my building. If one of those falls, there is no way this piece of felt covering my foot is going to hold up against deathcicles. Seriously though, those things are Final Destination style. 

I usually dress quite properly in winter. My proper attire includes spandex shorts, high socks, boots, 4 sweaters, a down jacket, and a scarf. Winter meets summer as Jason would like to say. I get a lot of stares, and dirty looks, and questions. "Aren't you cold??" Well no sh*t my thigh region is cold. It's literally 15 degrees out and I'm wearing spandex shorts. I'm not completely stupid you f*ck. Too much. At least my crotch is warm, spandex tend to be nice and snug if you haven't noticed.

Oh and for all you ladies out there, I was being annoying and having a fat day, then my friend sent me this link. I think I sometimes just need to unf*ck my head. And stop being bat sh*t crazy. Sometimes when I see videos like THIS F*CKIN' GUY, I get a little down and out, but then I remember that I can clean and jerk more than that p*ssy and I feel much better. Sorry, I'm really in a cursing mood today. But seriously check out the links, I don't post many for a reason.

On a lighter note, I think I might have fallen in love....with pork. Of course I didn't fall in love with a man. That would just be dumb. And irresponsible. For now, I just stick with my love for food. And apples, onions, pork and a hearty carb all together just make sense. It was an explosion of tear-jerking flavors in this meal. I could literally eat caramelized onions and burnt broccoli all day, errrrday and be happy as a clam.

What you need:
For your crockpot butternut squash-
  • 1 medium butternut squash, peeled and diced
  • 1/2 cup chicken or vegetable broth
  • 1 tablespoon coconut oil
  • 1 teaspoon cinnamon
  • 1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
  • dash of salt
For your pork chops-
  • 2 large pork chops, bone in
  • 2 apples, sliced
  • 1 sweet onion, thinly sliced
  • 1 red onion, thinly sliced
  • 4 tablespoons coconut oil
  • 2 tablespoons raw honey
  • 2 teaspoons cinnamon
  • 1 teaspoon mustard powder
  • salt and pepper, to taste
What you do:
  1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.
  2. Peel and dice your butternut squash. 
  3. Throw it in your crockpot with other crockpot ingredients. Cover, turn on low for 2 hours or high for 1 hour.
  4. Now time to prepare everything else. 
  5. Pull out 2 medium-large size skillets, put under medium heat.
  6. Add 2 tablespoons of coconut oil to each skillet, throw in your sliced onions in one and sliced apples in the other. 
  7. Toss occasionally to help the onions and apples cook evenly.
  8. Once the onions and apples start to become translucent, add 1 tablespoon of honey to each skillet along with 1 teaspoon of cinnamon to and a pinch of salt.
  9. Mix together and let the onions and apples caramelize a bit.
  10. While they finish caramelizing, prepare your chops.
  11. Season the pork chops with a bit of salt, pepper, cinnamon, and mustard powder on both side.
  12. Once apples and onions are done caramelizing, remove apples from heat, and throw your onions in the apple skillet. 
  13. Keep onion skillet over heat, and add seasoned pork chops to sear on both sides for about 3-4 minutes per side.
  14. Now throw your onion and apple mixture in a baking dish and place pork chops on top.
  15. Put the baking dish in the oven and good for 18-20 minutes (depending how thick your chops are) or until the internal temperature of the chops are around 145 degrees. Boom
  16. Check on your butternut squash, poke with a fork, if tender start your mashing!! I used a broken whisk, you don't have to do that. A fork or potato masher with work just fine.
  17. Now plate your mashed butternut squash then a chop then apples and onions. Consume.

Stunner shades on, knife in tow, onions sliced. I still cried. Effin A. 3 days of not showering. Damn I look good.

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