Easy Shredded Beef

There's something about meat that when it becomes shredded, it's tastes SO much better than it would have in chunks or strips or as a steak. It's true. Sometimes I'll just get a huge craving for shredded meat and have to utilize my crock pot to it's full potential. Full potential meaning me being a lazy ass and the crock pot just doing it's job. I could eat shredded meat for every single meal AND snack and be completely content with life. It's the small things.

But please don't think this recipe is something elaborate or creative or really even should be called a recipe. I just wanted shredded beef for breakfast and was too lazy to do anything else. The title of this recipe should be 'Easy as Fu Shredded Beef because I'm too lazy to try to come up with something on a Friday Night...yes I'm staying in on a Friday Night...by myself, with my nighty and warm booties on.' Good title? Don't worry, I watched 'Friends with Benefits' in my warm booties. Funny as sh*t. I wish Justin Timberlake was my best friend...and always naked.

Wanna know about my Sunday?! Of course you do. I had Kaladi coffee because I'm smart. Then I coached at CrossFit Broadway because I wanted to start my day off right. Then Laura and I went shopping at H&M. Sh*t show. So many females. So much estrogen. So many accessories. Then we had some boba tea at Lollicup. It's this weird milkshake/slushy tea thing with tapioca balls in the bottom. They give you these big straws to suck the balls of goo out of the bottom of the cup. I almost choked on one. Slick lil boogas. They taste like nothing. Like if you were eating gummy bears that taste like carpet. That's kinda what it's like. I don't even know what tapioca is. Yes, I know it's not paleo for all your psychos out there. No, I don't give a sh*t. Then I ate $6.18 worth of dark chocolate walnuts. I was a bit full. Then we watched 'Crazy Stupid Love' and it made me smile. I think I might still believe in love. Maybe, just maybe. Oh, and I'm eating cinnamon sauteed apples...I burnt them, like completely burnt them. I still ate them all. I don't waste food. Mama didn't raise no foo.

Oh yeah, then Laura ordered Jimmy John's to see how long it took. 12:13. Disappointing. No, I didn't eat Jimmy John's. I would be be so sick. Tapioca balls won that fight.

What you need:
  • 2-3lb sirloin steak (I bought it because it was on sale--buy whatever beef is cheap)
  • 1-2 large yellow onions, sliced
  • 1/2 cup chicken or beef broth
  • 1 teaspoon salt
  • 1 teaspoon garlic powder
  • 1/2 teaspoon paprika
  • 1/2 teaspoon black pepper
  • 1/4 teaspoon white pepper
  • 1/4 teaspoon chili powder
What you do:
  1. Pull out crock pot.
  2. Put meat in pot.
  3. Put broth in pot. 
  4. Put onions on top of meat.
  5. Put spices on top of meat and onions.
  6. Cover.
  7. Put crock pot on low for 8-10 hours
  8. Take 2 forks and shred that b*tch.
  9. Eat it like you mean it.
Shredding sh*t is smart
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