Paleo Crockpot Sweet Asian Meatballs

Oh my lord, I completely forgot to tell you about my pepper experience. How I forgot about this, I have no idea. But it needs to be talked about. My humiliation is just for you.

Ok so did you know peppers are spicy? You did? Ok cool. So did you know that peppers have capsaicin in them? Oh you knew that too? Ok this is a boring convo so let’s get to the point. The other day, when I was making my pork green chile, I cut up a crap ton of peppers before I got tired of standing and sat down on the couch to Food Network it up. Cupcake Wars to be exact. Anywho, while sitting on this couch of mine, my finger somehow made it up my nose. Oh don’t act you never pick your nose. If you act like you don’t, you’re a liar. STRAIGHT UP liar. I don’t care if you’re a side pincher, deep digger, or pick-and-looker, you all do it. So I did it. Then regretted that decision. My capsaicin covered fingers got the best of me. My eyes started to water. My nose itched in a weird burning uncomfortable way. And I couldn’t figure what the hell was going on. Then I used my brain. Don’t caress peppers then pick your nose. It doesn’t make sense. Trust me. It hurt. I cried while watching Cupcake Wars.

If you’re a parent and need to ween your child off their pacifier or thumb, rub a pepper on it. Sh*t I’m smart. Nanny 911 right here. BOOM.

So I’ve been pretty good at staying away from family while I’ve been in Dallas. Not intentionally. I just would rather be working out or eating at fun restaurants with other CrossFitters than doing really…anything else. I was lucky enough to get to try out Kozy Kitchen after another class at CrossFit Deep Ellum. Great gym. Great people. Great music. And those people know food. This was a wicked good paleo/gluten free friendly place. I got something called the Bowl of Doom that included about 18 chopped sweet potatoes, poached eggs, and venison sausage. Oh and avocado. Duh. There were even other CrossFitters hangin around in there. I should move to Texas. Hot bros everywhere.

yeah. that's a lot of sweet potatoes.
Have you noticed how often I’ve been using my crockpot lately? That’s because I’m lazy. And most people are too. That’s why my friends have been asking for more crockpot recipes. Lazy bastards. You know who you are.

What you need:
  • 2 yellow onions, sliced
  • 1 lb ground beef
  • 1 egg, whisked
  • 1/3 cup almond flour/meal
  • 1 (14 oz) can of diced pineapple
  • 2 tablespoons coconut aminos (or wheat free soy sauce if you can’t find it)
  • 1 tablespoon siracha
  • 1 tablespoon sesame oil
  • 1 tablespoon honey
  • 1 tablespoon garlic powder
  • 1 tablespoon ginger
  • 1/2 teaspoon coriander
  • 1/2 teaspoon cumin
  • 1/4 teaspoon mustard seed
  • Salt and pepper, to taste
What you do:
  1. Grab out your crockpot.
  2. Put all the onions in the bottom of the crockpot. The fat from the meat cooks them down and makes them stupid delicious.
  3. Add all the ingredients in a bowl. Mix together
  4. Make balls of the meat. Any size you please. I made these guys a little bigger because bigger is better. Just tuck the pineapple in the meat and pinch to close up.
  5. Cook on high for about 2-3 hours in the crockpot (depending on how thick you make the meatballs). I made these then cleaned the house. When I say cleaned the house, I mean cleaned the dishes then watched cupcake wars. Cleaned meaning put everything in the dishwasher.
  6. Anywho, eat these with some of the cooked onions. So good!
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