Paleo Patacones

Ohhhhhh family time is funny. Funny in the fact it is incredibly overwhelming. When you live like me, rarely seeing your family, it is quite the affair when we all get together. I have to repeatedly explain what my job is while they stare at me with blank faces, eat loads of food I’m not used to consuming (meaning deny my grandmother while she offers me her homemade potato bread), then entertain children, which as you all know I’m not exactly good at. I’m just not good at family stuff.

So to entertain myself while I was completely overwhelmed at my grandparents house, I took pictures of her house. Ok, not really of her house, but the things that fill her house. You see, my grandma REALLY likes bears. No seriously. Like LOVES bears. They fill every room. They wear outfits. They hang out with each other. They do cool sh*t. They’re stuffed animal bears, what cool sh*t can’t they do? Thank goodness for my grandma or they would be livin’ a boring life. This is what all these bears say, “They see me rollin’….they hatin.”

Watch these bears go.
bears be readin in a high chair. makes sense.
bears be jolly
bears be sitting.
bears be standin.
bears be travelin
bears be creepin
bears be stranglin
bears be havin bad eye sight
bears be flyin. no buckles needed bro.
This honestly wasn't even half of the bears that lined my grandparents house. That was just too much bears talk though. Moving on.

So this recipe really isn’t a recipe per se. It’s more of a fun idea played out through food. That made no sense. But when I recently used plantains in a recipe, a fellow (extremely fit as all hell) paleo-zone blogger mentioned on my Facebook page that I should try make patacones. Oh you haven’t liked my facebook page? Do you want to like my facebook page? Of course you do. You don’t have a facebook? You’re dumb. Well Steve was right, these are delicious. The perfect chip if you ask me. I sprinkled some with just salt. Others with cinnamon. Some with cayenne pepper. I went to town really. Speaking of going to town, I'm back home to beautiful Colorado today. Dallas was fun but I'm ready to live out of CrossFit Broadway again. Missed them.

What you need:
  • 2 plantains, peeled and chopped "hamburger" style (the easiest way to peel a plantain is to use a sharp knife to cut the lengthwise of the plantain and the inside curve, then use the knife to raise the skin and peel it off without tearing off the mushy part of the plantain)
  • 2 tablespoons coconut oil
  • toppings: salt, cayenne pepper, cinnamon, nutmeg, etc.
What you do:
  1. Preheat your oven to 350 degrees.
  2. Place your chopped plantains on a cookie sheet.
  3. Bake for about 10-15 minutes until they have a crispiness to them.
  4. Now use either a spatula or another cookie sheet to press the plantains down and flatten them out. Like a chip. 
  5. Now heat up a large skillet or deep frying pan over medium-high heat. Add your coconut oil to get super hot.
  6. Once the oil is super hot (I like to say super) add your plantains to start frying up.
  7. Cooking on both sides for 1-3 minutes
  8. Place on a paper towel to soak up the excess oil. 
  9. Top with whatever you would like while still hot!
  10. Consume!

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